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要静!

 
 
 

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关于我

其实,太重情非我所愿.是火总是要熄灭的,和风风火火后的幻灭相比,我情愿选择小溪一样绵绵不绝的平和.

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文简历中不该出现的话   

2007-06-18 15:28:25|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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文简历中不该出现的话

 

  "Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

  "Qualifications: No education or experience."

  "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

  "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

  "Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."

  "Fired because I fought for lower pay."

  "Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6"5" .

  " "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

  "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

  "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word "paranoia." I prefer to elaborate privately."

  打字错误与语法错误

  "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

  "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

  "I am a rabid typist."

  "Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

  "After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."

  "Accounting cleric."

  "As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

  "Suspected to graduate early next year."

  "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

  "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

  "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

  "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

  "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

  不应有的幽默

  "Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

  "Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

  "But wait……there"s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

  "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

  "My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job"-and I like your company in particular."

  "Title: Another resume from the "Profiles in Excellence" series."

  "Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."

  "Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."

  "Let"s meet so you can "ooh" and "ahh" over my experience."

 

 

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